Planning Times and Carpet of The Mind

Hi out there, thanks for being an audience to our thoughts.  I find it hard to make time to write the monthly blog, but whenever I do, I’m glad for the time to reflect.  As I’ve weeded, planted, picked and driven this week Ive wondered what to prattle on about; as there’s lots spinning around in my head.  So many upheavals and movements in the world.

In my immediate world health and wellness is a big one circling round at the moment; with Sas healing off site and me keeping things physically ticking along.  Sas has been cranking out numbers, taxes, education resources…so she’s still actively doing Gung Hoe and working; just at home and with the priority of healing, not working.

It is also planning time – generally I come up with the rotations of crops, metres of crops, and timing of crops in order to then punch the numbers of how many seedlings we need in the ground, of what and when.  All of this info goes to Sas and she starts to seed things up.  Planning happens in June/July and it sees us through (ideally) to the same time next year.  This process even though it excites me, always stresses me out!  Ive no doubt its because I don’t give it the the time it realistically takes me and im sure staring down the barrel of another season and its unknowns has its grips too.  But I don’t want to hand it over, cos when I get in the zone it fuels me!

I’m aware that this season will look different with Sas in rehab and us planting into peaches and cream and I think this year has already had so many reconfigurations it’s feeling hard to grapple with a few more.  Learning just how much ‘unknown’ I can cope with I reckon!  The reason I’ve been thinking bout all of this is because its really highlighted to me that mentally I’m in a way better place than the last few years – last year particularly, which gives me insight (a bit) into how quickly I can snap into overwhelm, anxiety and panic.  Words I never thought would represent some of Mel.  The tracks to feeling like im going to die have become well worn paths in the carpet hallway of the brains thoughts.  Before I know it im down the end of the hall. Dammit!  In recognising all of this I’m seeking some more professional help and learning, again, to listen to what I need to stay well.  Sometimes its even as if I’m learning it again. (Dammit!) So I’m learning to really own – well im trying to, what Mel actually needs.  The reason planning comes into this is because its one clear example that I don’t honour myself with the reality of HOW LONG it takes me!  I need time to reflect on things before I know what I think is another example.  No-one else can do these things but me!  It actually is empowering, if a bit weird at first.

I guess what Im getting at is that health – physical or mental, is vital.  And if we get better at listening and respecting our selves rather than being stoic or thinking that we’ve gotta do all the things all the time, our own selves will thank us. (And those around us too, no doubt!)  I think its one of the life long lessons for me in this life around the sun for sure…

In terms of Gung Hoe updates we are excited that Ruby will be joining us in August, and Amanda is helping me out majorly on Tuesdays with picking.  Cohen and Abigail are the dream team vollies who also wash dishes and make cake.  Deb the human weed machine comes and goes in the night.  The worms are VERY active and its exciting seeing them at home and doing their thing.  This has been the sunniest and wettest winter in a while and its great! The season is changing and I can see things growing…exciting and nerve racking!

Tessa’s cows are in the bottom of peaches and cream keeping down the cape weed (phew) and I’m taking a bit of a break in July – looking forward to bush walks, sleep ins, reading, deserted beach walks, listening to records, writing letters, stitchng my clothes back together again, films at home, typewriting up a zine storm, having an old  friend staying, getting photos together for a group photography exhibition in November and cooking!

All that said, I better get going and unpack from the weekly markets!
Hope you’re warm and well (in all the ways) out there – grow well in yourself and out in the world.
Mel x

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